My coach and I talked through my response to being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is unveiling, showing emotions and processing with others. Not only should it be a value to myself but it is definitely a value to those around me. If I am not vulnerable several things happen in that relationship: those around me don't think I am being authentic with them, you know me but I don't or can't know you.
Do I need to be vulnerable? Maybe I don't feel it is necessary but those around me may NEED it. Maybe they need to know my hurts, weaknesses so that I can be a helpful resource for others. Can my vulnerability provide a resource for others? If so, then I should be willing to share more! It would then not be about myself at all but about others.
Why is it problematic for me to be vulnerable? Is it dangerous? Because my emotions may get out of control? Is that o.k.? Why not show a full range of expressions/emotions? Am I not willing to look at what this may bring to me as well as others? I may hurt people. Maybe those around will will see flesh in me or see me as not perfect and as a sinner. Maybe I won't win people over with my woo if they see who I really am? Does vulnerability mean a dark place? Scary? Unknown? Do I really need to share everything? Why rock the boat? Is this a learned behaviour?
The cost of not being vulnerable may outweigh the "maybe's" If I have no place to be vulnerable then all of the "stuff" bottled up inside will ooze out or possible explode. Isn't total honesty freeing? Isn't it o.k. to show my true self? We are sinners! Do people see me as stoic if I can never be vulnerable? I will pay a cost if I can not or will not be who I really I am. It is a strength to be a tangible human.
Look at Jonathan and David's friendship. They were totally vulnerable to each other! David's life depended upon his vulnerability with Jonathan. What did they say about each other and to each other? What did they gain from being completely vulnerable? This would be a great study to do!
6.21.10
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