Coaching- Reflection Exercise

Loved the first coaching session. Now I'm gung ho. Let's go! What can we change? What new opportunity awaits me?

Aww. But first a my coach asks me to do a reflection exercise- listen to my inner voice- what is it really telling me? Find a quiet place. Don't fall asleep. Thankfully, I have an office with a door that I can close. Listen to the voice in my gut- the Holy Spirit. Meditate on specific questions and then journal. O.k. I can do this. I like to journal. Quiet spot- got that. No excuses.

What is really important to me?
The cliche answer would be God and family in that order. But is that necessarily how I really think and feel? Not sure. Being home last week was very difficult w/ the kids all week. At times I wanted to strangle them and they can be real brats. However, the older they get and I get, I see bits of my husband and myself in them. Usually these bits are behaviours that I don't like. But I really need to focus on the parts that are great. Both kids are very smart! Both are very musical. Love that! So thankful they don't have difficulty learning. This is just two right off the top. Soooo love that they love God and express this easily and w/o being prompted.
My kids are very important to me in the fact that I want them to be happy in life, be successful in whatever they want to do, and live a life that follows the value's that are right according to God's plan.
I think I've gotten to a place in my life where I am over the same and guilt I put upon myself if I live my walk w/ God how I think I should be- or the way I think others think I should. My walk w/ God is very personal. It is going to be very different than anyone else's walk with God.
I am so very thankful for my work. I really love what I do. There is really not many days I don't want to come into work. Sooo thankful for that! I can remember the stress of my life when I worked in banking. Yuck!

Is this the life I want to live?
Yes, for the most part I am living the life I want to live. Of course there are some things I would love to change. For example, I need to be healthier physically. With both parents and an older sister already having heart surgeries, I need to think ahead to this! I don't want to afraid to be old. Right now, I really don't want to be 60-70-80 years old. I want to be healthy and happy with my life so when I get there, it's o.k.
I would love to be financially stable. I hate my husband getting laid off. This is hard. I want to work because I want to work not because I have to. That is frustrating. I don't want to be 60 and have no retirement savings or still be in the place we currently are financially.

How do I really want to live my life?
Happily. I want to be content w/ where I am and what I have. No, I will never have a big house. But that's o.k. because that would just be more cleaning I would have to do! :) I want to be kind. I want to be a good mom- one who is there for my kids and can connect with them but also discipline when necessary. I want to be a wife who is supportive of my husband and doesn't always question him.
I would love to be in a place professionally where I feel really stable. With the cuts recently it was a bit scary. I want to be a right hand to my supervisor. I want to be able to help parents and volunteers along on their journey's. I love my job. I want to do it well so that all those around me know me as a person who can be relied upon to do a great job with whatever the task at hand is.

What gives passions, meaning, and purpose to my life?
Learning! Laughter! Doing a job well. Orderliness. Friendships that I know are real.

How can I make even more of a difference?
That is a great question! Over the past couple of years I have really retreated. Once home I don't really want to entertain or talk on the phone, or do anything outside of family activities. I just feel worn out a lot of the time. DO I have to sit and listen to a needy neighbor for hours in order to make a difference? I don't like spinning my wheels for nothing and when people refuse to change it frustrates me even more.

How can I live connected to these inner values?
Not sure. I don't want take on "new projects". I'm worn out dong what I do already. Maybe if I look at coaching from the viewpoint of getting help then that is of the most value to me- I can then maybe live connected to my inner values? What are these values? What is really important to me?

Specific skill I would like to improve-
Communication skills. Interpersonal relationships to peers and subordinates. Productivity. Organization of time and priorities. Use my skills and strengths better. I can easily have relationships but how can I make those around me not feel used by my wooing? How can I use my love of learning and input to improve my skill set in my ministry?

4.12.10