Conflicts in Marriage and Life

Just love the new word for today: magnanimity! The trait of having a great spirit- generous in spirit, easily forgives. Opposite of meanness- Latin communis-common. So either I have magnanimity or meanness in my marriage- great spirit or common, petty spirit. Which is more difficult? Clearly meanness is such a part of our daily language- how very sad!

Proverbs 15:16-18: "Better is a little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and turmoil with it. Better is a dish of vegetables where love is than a fattened ox served with hatred. Hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute." NASB
This is certainly my prayer today! Give me magnanimity not meanness!!

Learning

Whoever ceases to be a student has never been a student.
- George Iles

I love this quote. But then again anyone who knows me knows that I love to learn and love to read. However, beyond that fact, I truly believe that anyone who refuses to learn is just terribly ignorant. The truth of the matter is that we (Americans especially) are just plain lazy. Sometimes learning is not easy especially when learning life lessons. Go pick up a book and be a student!

Sovereign God

I must admit. I wasn't ready for the new year. I'm not happy my husband is without work after being laid off again. I'm not happy the state of our finances. I'm not happy the federal government supposedly has all this "help" available for struggling home owners but it apparently does not apply to us or to anyone we know personally for that matter. So, I'm just not happy that 2011 is here. Ugh.

But at our staff meeting yesterday, our teaching pastor shared about his recent trip to Ethiopia and India. Outside Ethiopia's capital city of Addis Ababa there is a centuries old Orthodox church. When our pastor visited, they could not enter the church as the church was in the midst of a 45 day fast-here we complain if our sermon's go over by 10 minutes because we want to eat lunch! There were men standing around reading their bibles. When asked how long one man had been standing there - our pastor learned he had stood for 36 hours reading his bible without moving!

At the church as a fountain of healing waters. As sceptical Americans, we automatically question that this fountain actually has healing waters. When asked, our pastor was told "of course the waters heal!" What faith. There was no doubt that the children who entered the fountain with aids would come out completely healed!

The most profound was a Jewish Doctor who works in Ethiopia with children who have severe physical abnormalities and has actually adopted 8 children so they can be on his health insurance. When our pastor asked him if he ever questions God amidst seeing all the suffering amongst these children the answer was "Why would I question God? He is Sovereign". But of course!

Oh ye of little faith! We are soo completely spoiled and forget how thankful we really should be!! I absolutely love the Christmas Carol "I heard the Bells on Christmas Day" with words by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. A recent blog posting entitled "The Bells of Hope"convicted me even more!

"God is not dead nor doth He sleep"- He IS Sovereign! Why would we ever question Him??

Rainy Day Thoughts

Sad. Very sad today. Why? Is it because it has rained non-stop for four days? Is it because the kids and Paul are at home without me? Is it because Christmas is this week and we don't get to see all my family in Washington? Not sure but feeling is truly just very sad.

It's o.k. to feel sad. Don't allow myself to be sad very often but it is an o.k. emotion! I'm learning that I need to embrace my emotions and be real with myself. Urghh. O.k. had my little sadness party. Now I need to be happy. Come on sunshine!

Loved this post on Her.meneutics Blog. Lynn Hybels shares about the true meaning of Christmas. Maybe that is why I'm sad. I just need to slow down long enough to nuture my internal peace. If I truly have peace in my soul- I won't feel sad. I will be overwhelemed with love for my family. I need to take time for me. No, that isn't being selfish. It is time to nurture my soul.

Lenthy Sabbatical

So sorry I have been away for so long. I need to create space in my day purposefully to blog. It needs to be more important to me! My Input and Context strengths crave the thought process that goes into a journal. Three out of my five strengths are thinking strengths. The sad part is that I do not carve out a time each day or even each week to really do some deeper thinking. I get so busy with my daily life. However, I know that if I did carve out some space and time for deeper thinking, I would be a person that is more at peace and not so easily riled up or off balance. So my commitment to myself is to blog at least once a week. It needs to be an appointment on my calendar just like spending time with my heavenly Father!

Too Much Knowledge?

How much do we really need to know in current events? As ministers for Christ, do we need to keep abreast of all the current tragedies as they unfold in our country and world? In light of the terrible events at Virginia Tech on April 16th, I am wondering how much is too much knowledge? I have had to take the news off my Google homepage because the travesties that occur to children give me sleepless nights. I start worrying incessantly about my own children and their safety and well being. So how much is too much?
In John 17 when Jesus prays for his disciples, he prays not they would be taken from the world but that they would be sanctified by the truth of God's word. To sanctify is to set apart. If we are set aside by the truth of God's word, why would we fill ourselves with news of destruction and despair?
In Philippians 4, the Apostle Paul exhorts us to think on those things which are true, honest, right, pure, lovely and admirable. If we think of these things, then the peace of God will guard our hearts and minds. Does this mean that we should not watch the news then? Most news reports are not pure, lovely and admirable for sure. They may have truth and honesty. But do these reports of tragedy give us peace? I think not!
So then, I am caught in a quandary. Do I keep up on events so that I can be informed and thus help those I minster to try to understand tragic events? Or do I choose to think on only those things that are pure, lovely and admirable and shut out the news?
I would like to shut out the news. Much sadness, sleepless nights, and worry has been on my mind because of news reports. But if we are not up to date, how can we effectively minister?

Decision Making

A good friend Laura has told me that three things are needed when making a good decision: volition, affection, and intellect. Funny, these are the recognized three primary human psychological faculties.
Volition is will, choice, decision. "Choice is the familiar, and volition the scientific, term for the same state of the will" according to Wikipedia. Volition has to do with our desires. Volition can be external or internal depending on whether the desired change is the surrounding world or inside ourselves.
Affection is feeling or emotion. However, in decision making affection really goes beyond emotions to values and propensity (natural inclination).
Intellect according to Merriam-Webster is:1 a : the power of knowing as distinguished from the power to feel and to will : the capacity for knowledge b : the capacity for rational or intelligent thought especially when highly developed. Intellect leaves out emotion (affection) and will (volition).
This is why in decision making it is important to use all three human faculties! Making a decision on desire alone could prove to be financially disastrous. Making a decision on affection alone could make one happy for the moment until the long term sets in. Making a decision on intellect alone could be financially great but emotionally miserable.
Making decisions in any area of our lives really should involve volition, affection and intellect! This is true even when pursuing a "calling" to ministry. Many I fear enter ministry "callings" using only the faculty of affection. As my good friend Laura commented on my previous posting "Called", one must use our intellect as well to ensure our skills and experience fit with the ministry. One can not rely only upon feelings! Volition is involved as well. The desire of our will must be to love the community in which we are being "called".
To make any decision without volition, affection, and intellect can only result in unhappy persons, in unhappy situations. God gave us a heart, soul, and mind to be used in conjunction with one another.

Being Assertive

I recently attended a training seminar on assertive communication. I thought great, maybe I'll learn how to better stand up for myself or learn how to fight for my children when needed. The speaker did ask us what we thought being assertive meant. The replies varied from being strong, direct, having guts, character, compassionate, clear, bold, confident to being confrontational. How is being assertive played out in our lives? We must: identify the issues, confront the problem, speak the truth in love, be strong and courageous, focus on God's ways, have confidence, smile, take risks, realize that sometimes you may need to compromise. What is holding us back from how assertiveness can be played out in our lives? The speaker identified three things that hold us back: "if only...", "yes, but...", and "what if..."
Then she proposed a radical idea based on the scripture in John 6 where Jesus feeds 5000 men (and who knows how many women and children). What if the little boy looked at his lunch and looked at the 5000 men and said "if only...I had more". Or what if he said, "yes, but...this was my lunch, I don't want to share". Or he said, "what if...I give you only part of my lunch". Then the miracle Jesus performed would have been thwarted! Based on John 6 what will release us and stop holding us back?
1. what you have is enough...if you let it go. Who we are right now is exactly how assertive we need to be right now in our sphere.
2. What you have is ordained (appointed)...if you consecrate (set apart for a high purpose) it. Jesus already had in mind what he was going to do when he asked Philip where bread could be purchased (v. 5). My strengths and my weaknesses are exactly what God has ordained for me. God "already has in mind" what he is going to do with our strengths and weaknesses. We need to give thanks for it (thank you for making me) and then give ourselves to Jesus.
3. What you have is needed...if you share it. We must bring what we have to the table. We should not try and move ourselves out of who God has made us to be.

This seminar was a breath of fresh air. I always am feeling inadequate because I am not more assertive and stand up for my self more. This is not to say that we let people walk all over us or abuse us! The speaker just wanted to bring home the point that the three things that hold us back from being assertive in our lives "if only...", "yes, but...", and "what if..." no longer need to hold us back! We can be released to be exactly who God has made us to be! That means that it is o.k. for me not to be overly assertive. What I have at any given moment is enough if I am willing to let it go. If statements imply there is a movement on our part! If you let it go, if you consecrate it, if you share it... These statements all require something from us. However, these statements also release us and help me to no longer be held back.
Five loaves and two fishes. That is all Jesus needed to perform a miracle!

Gratitude

Gratitude by Henry Van Dyke

"Do you give thanks for this? -- or that?"

No, God be thanked

I am not grateful

In that cold, calculating way, with blessing ranked

As one, two, three, and four, -- that would be hateful.

I only know that every day brings good above

My poor deserving;

I only feel that, in the road of Life, true Love

Is leading me along and never swerving.

Whatever gifts and mercies in my lot may fall,

I would not measure

As worth a certain price in praise, or great or small;

But take and use them all with simple pleasure.

For when we gladly eat our daily bread, we bless

The Hand that feeds us;

And when we tread the road of Life in cheerfulness,

Our very heart-beats praise the Love that leads us.

Thank you Father for life! Thank you all the blessings you bestow on us everyday that we are not thankful for! May we live our life in cheerfulness as an example to show others how much we praise you!

Rumination

Rumination:1 : to chew again what has been chewed slightly and swallowed : chew the cud 2 : to engage in contemplation (Merriam-Webster).

Why choose rumination as the title of my blog? Because someone else stole my first choice of musings! The idea of my blog is to engage in musing or contemplation of my everyday experiences especially as I engage my mind at seminary.

Seminary has certainly opened my mind to engage in deeper thinking than I would normally do on an everyday basis. I love it! I'm definitely my father's daughter. I love to learn . Keep it coming! I only wish that I could spend more time digesting all that I'm learning. It comes at me so fast that I can't hardly digest most of it.