Beloved

"We are the Beloved. We are intimately loved long before our parents, teachers, spouses, children, and friends loved or wounded us. That's the truth of our lives. That's the truth spoken by the voice that says, "You are my Beloved." Listening to that voice with great inner attentiveness, I hear at my center words that say: "I have called you by name, from the very beginning. You are mine and I am yours. You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests. I have molded you in the depths of the earth and knitted you together in your mother's womb. I look at you with infinite tenderness and care for you with a care more intimate than that of a mother for her child. I have counted every hair on you head and guided you at every step. Wherever you go, I go with you, and wherever you rest, I keep watch. You belong to me. I am your father, your mother, your brother, your sister, your lover, and your spouse. Nothing will ever separate us. "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests." It certainly is not easy to hear that voice in a world filled with voices that shout: 'You are no good, you are ugly; you are worthless; you are despicable, you are nobody- unless you can demonstrate the opposite." Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved." Being the Beloved expresses the core truth of our existence." Henri J.M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved, pgs.31,36,37

Why is this so hard to believe? I just love this book and highly recommend it! The core truth! If only we can remember this truth when life throws us such curve balls constantly.

Sovereign God

I must admit. I wasn't ready for the new year. I'm not happy my husband is without work after being laid off again. I'm not happy the state of our finances. I'm not happy the federal government supposedly has all this "help" available for struggling home owners but it apparently does not apply to us or to anyone we know personally for that matter. So, I'm just not happy that 2011 is here. Ugh.

But at our staff meeting yesterday, our teaching pastor shared about his recent trip to Ethiopia and India. Outside Ethiopia's capital city of Addis Ababa there is a centuries old Orthodox church. When our pastor visited, they could not enter the church as the church was in the midst of a 45 day fast-here we complain if our sermon's go over by 10 minutes because we want to eat lunch! There were men standing around reading their bibles. When asked how long one man had been standing there - our pastor learned he had stood for 36 hours reading his bible without moving!

At the church as a fountain of healing waters. As sceptical Americans, we automatically question that this fountain actually has healing waters. When asked, our pastor was told "of course the waters heal!" What faith. There was no doubt that the children who entered the fountain with aids would come out completely healed!

The most profound was a Jewish Doctor who works in Ethiopia with children who have severe physical abnormalities and has actually adopted 8 children so they can be on his health insurance. When our pastor asked him if he ever questions God amidst seeing all the suffering amongst these children the answer was "Why would I question God? He is Sovereign". But of course!

Oh ye of little faith! We are soo completely spoiled and forget how thankful we really should be!! I absolutely love the Christmas Carol "I heard the Bells on Christmas Day" with words by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. A recent blog posting entitled "The Bells of Hope"convicted me even more!

"God is not dead nor doth He sleep"- He IS Sovereign! Why would we ever question Him??

Holy Spirit Within

We are reading a book as part of our Family Ministry Team entitled "Spiritual Parenting" by Michelle Anthony. It's a great book and I would highly recommend it. An easy read but with some compelling take-aways.

Michelle states in the first chapter that "spiritual parenting is not perfect parenting-it's parenting from a spiritual perspective with eternity in mind". That didn't really hit home until later in the chapter she began talking about our children's behaviour. As parents we want our children to behave, correct? Yes, of course! But by raising them in a Christian home, exposing them to Christian environments don't they just choose to behave correctly? Can't we just correct them and mange their behavior? Michelle states that is not the case! This would be called "sin management" (p. 24). I really resonated with this statement: "the danger in merely focusing on our children's outward behavior without the inner transformation is that sometimes our children will align their behavior to our mandates to please us or receive approval" (p. 19).

Instead of trying to control our children's behavior by exposing them to Christian homes, environments and behavior modification, we need to rely on the Holy Spirit. He "is the one who makes their action congruent with their belief" (p. 24). We need to focus on the heart and not so much just their behavior! Without transformation from within by the Holy Spirit "we may have moral or obedient children, but we don't necessarily have spiritual children" (p. 19).

I wanted to see if this could really apply to my young children. So, one evening I had some alone time with my ten-year-old son and I asked him. "Hey Jacob, I want you to tell me honestly, why do you try to always get your good grades and why are you always such a good boy?" I really didn't know what his answer would be! However, I was so excited when he replied, "Mom, there is voice instead me telling me to do the right thing and always try my best". Wow! Clearly even without my teaching him, Jacob is aware of the Holy Spirit's voice instead of him!! What a huge blessing to me as a parent! So many times I feel like I'm such a failure as a parent!! Thank you Jesus for looking after my children even when I fail!!

Busy Summer Ahead!

Yikes! Yes, I know I'm a terrible blogger! Life is busy! My summer is already on the fast track to craziness! We just got back from a week in Walla Walla. Had a wonderful family picnic with 82 out of 106 family members present! Amazing but true! The really amazing part was that all nine of us siblings were present! That was great! First time we have had a sibling picture since I was eight years old (yes, that truly is a long time!). Now, it's on to the final preparations for VBS! But first, my wonderful friend of 16 years had a double mastectomy on Monday. Her surgery went longer than expected taking over 7 1/2 hours. BUT, the surgeon was very positive that she removed ALL the cancer! Thank you Jesus! AND my beloved mother goes in this week for a heart valve replacement surgery. My, oh, my. Life sure is a roller coaster ride. Thank, you Lord for my health! So, thankful that I am healthy and strong and can help out as needed!

Upside?

Paul (my husband) got a job! Yeah! Then what is my problem? Why am I still feeling so down and discouraged? I feel constantly overwhelmed, tired, discouraged. But in the midst of this God has sent little encouragements my way. Thank you Jesus! I did very poorly on a mid-term exam. I knew I did poorly but was going to have to suck it up and accept the consequences. When we got the exams back last Thursday night, I was dreading seeing my grade. Well, I did do very poorly, however, my professor wrote a little note at the top giving me a chance to rewrite my exam! Are you kidding me? This never happens. What was really wierd is the professor knew who I was and I have never introduced myself (there are 30 students in the class). I really just feel that he has been an instrument in God's plan for my life. As I wrote in my last post, God does not author the feelings of failure in us. I love King David's psalm of praise in 1 Chronicles 16. "Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts. Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.
Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced, O descendants of Israel his servant, O sons of Jacob, his chosen ones."

In the midst of this really hard patch in my life, a simple gesture of a professor letting me take an exam over is huge! I must continue to look to my LORD and his strength to get me through this time. I must also remember to sing praises for the wonderful works God is doing in my life! I must remember the wonders He has done which includes Paul finding a job! Thank you Jesus!

What Weighs You Down

Yes, my husband had been unemployed now for several months due to layoffs. Yes, my children have been affected more than we have realized. How has it affected myself? For the most part, I didn't think it has. However, I'm starting to see little signs of behaviour that shows stress seeping out! One of these behaviours is a real sense of failure. Feeling of failure at home because both children are having some difficulty at school (which must be my fault for not spending more time w/ them), feeling of failure at work because of a new position and the steep learning curve (which must be my problem because I have a lot of management experience after all), feeling of failure at school because I'm constantly behind...just lots feelings of failure. Even though intellectually I know this is not from God, my heart is still feeling down. A recent article helped me see this really is from Satan not God! "What weighs you down, bends you over, keeps you small? Is it the weight of other people's expectations? Or the burden of trying to make other people happy? Is it the heavy load of living by keeping religious rules, which all seem to imply that "good girls don't make waves"? What is it in your life that has kept you from standing up straight, looking people in the eyes, and believing in your own value? What has stolen your joy?...There have been times that I have lived bent over and small in certain areas of my life. I didn't realize it—I was just trying to avoid conflict, to make certain people happy. In a way, I took the path of least resistance, not wanting to stand up for myself because I was afraid. But doing so hindered me from standing up and praising God with my life and my actions. It prevented me from looking people in the eye and feeling the confidence that comes from knowing I am God's beloved daughter."
What is it that is weighing me down? I am God's beloved daughter! He has created me with unique abilities and gifts! I can not and should not attempt to be anything other than who God has created ME to be! This is something that I need to constantly realize! Even if there is extra stress at home, it's o.k. to acknowledge these feelings and not bring these feelings on myself as feelings of failure!

Pop Christianity

I'm not sure why I do this to myself...I started listening to a radio show of a well known Christian radio personality (whom I won't mention by name as not to offend others). What I'm finding is what I call "pop Christianity". Really, this is little sound bites of advice that are supposedly based on some theology. Supposedly, I say because consider this recent bit of advice. In speaking about prayer "if people really get active in prayer, pray about everything and anything "you have not because you ask not", then they will begin to see answers and their faith will increase to pray more and more. If you pray about everything you are bound to see answers sometimes for certain ones and every time you see an answer it will bolster your faith". What! Is this the lottery? Do we need to see prayer answered in order to have faith? We need to pray. And yes, we should be praying ourselves through the day as seen in Paul's letter to the Thessalonians. But what about our faith. It does not come from seeing prayers answered. It comes from hearing the message which comes through Christ.
It just scares me that well known radio/t.v. Christian personalities can take a little verse like James 4:2, and take it completely out of context and and then have Christians believing that the only reason they have not it because they did not ask for it. This is ultimate "pop Christianity".

Salvation for Children?

It has greatly saddened, worried, and frustrated me to find recently that several well known educators do not believe that children can be truly saved before the age of accountability. This implies that before the age of accountability, children can not be held accountable for their sins. This also implies that children can not enter into the blessings of God if they can not obtain salvation. By extension, because children can not obtain salvation, they can not have spiritual gifts.
First, what is the age of accountability? One professor believes that age is about thirty years of age. Are you kidding me? I have read others who believe it is the age of twenty based on Numbers 14. Still others feel the age of accountability is at conception based on Psalm 51:5. Psalm 58 and Romans 5: 12-14. There is such discrepancy among Christians over what the age of accountability is, how in the world can we hold to the belief that children can not have salvation?
Second, seeing how Jesus interacted with children, leads me to believe that children can enter into God's blessings through salvation. In Matthew, Jesus refers to faith of children several times (Mt. 18, Mt. 19, Mt. 21).
Third, anyone that has children of their own has witness to their unadulterated faith! My son, though only six years of age, states without any doubt that Jesus is in his heart. Not only is he sure of his salvation, he knows exactly when his moment of salvation took place. Who are we to judge this faith? Shame on us who would cause a child to stumble because of our own agenda's whatever they may be!