Attitude

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude
on life. It is more important than the past, than education,
than money, than circumstances, than failures, than
successes, than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It
will make or break a company ... a church ... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
We cannot change our past ... we cannot change the fact
that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the
inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one
string we have, and that is our attitude ...
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and
90% how I react to it. And so it is with you ... we are in
charge of our Attitude."
- Chuck Swindoll

Conflicts in Marriage and Life

Just love the new word for today: magnanimity! The trait of having a great spirit- generous in spirit, easily forgives. Opposite of meanness- Latin communis-common. So either I have magnanimity or meanness in my marriage- great spirit or common, petty spirit. Which is more difficult? Clearly meanness is such a part of our daily language- how very sad!

Proverbs 15:16-18: "Better is a little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and turmoil with it. Better is a dish of vegetables where love is than a fattened ox served with hatred. Hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute." NASB
This is certainly my prayer today! Give me magnanimity not meanness!!

Learning

Whoever ceases to be a student has never been a student.
- George Iles

I love this quote. But then again anyone who knows me knows that I love to learn and love to read. However, beyond that fact, I truly believe that anyone who refuses to learn is just terribly ignorant. The truth of the matter is that we (Americans especially) are just plain lazy. Sometimes learning is not easy especially when learning life lessons. Go pick up a book and be a student!

Beloved

"We are the Beloved. We are intimately loved long before our parents, teachers, spouses, children, and friends loved or wounded us. That's the truth of our lives. That's the truth spoken by the voice that says, "You are my Beloved." Listening to that voice with great inner attentiveness, I hear at my center words that say: "I have called you by name, from the very beginning. You are mine and I am yours. You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests. I have molded you in the depths of the earth and knitted you together in your mother's womb. I look at you with infinite tenderness and care for you with a care more intimate than that of a mother for her child. I have counted every hair on you head and guided you at every step. Wherever you go, I go with you, and wherever you rest, I keep watch. You belong to me. I am your father, your mother, your brother, your sister, your lover, and your spouse. Nothing will ever separate us. "You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests." It certainly is not easy to hear that voice in a world filled with voices that shout: 'You are no good, you are ugly; you are worthless; you are despicable, you are nobody- unless you can demonstrate the opposite." Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved." Being the Beloved expresses the core truth of our existence." Henri J.M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved, pgs.31,36,37

Why is this so hard to believe? I just love this book and highly recommend it! The core truth! If only we can remember this truth when life throws us such curve balls constantly.

Sovereign God

I must admit. I wasn't ready for the new year. I'm not happy my husband is without work after being laid off again. I'm not happy the state of our finances. I'm not happy the federal government supposedly has all this "help" available for struggling home owners but it apparently does not apply to us or to anyone we know personally for that matter. So, I'm just not happy that 2011 is here. Ugh.

But at our staff meeting yesterday, our teaching pastor shared about his recent trip to Ethiopia and India. Outside Ethiopia's capital city of Addis Ababa there is a centuries old Orthodox church. When our pastor visited, they could not enter the church as the church was in the midst of a 45 day fast-here we complain if our sermon's go over by 10 minutes because we want to eat lunch! There were men standing around reading their bibles. When asked how long one man had been standing there - our pastor learned he had stood for 36 hours reading his bible without moving!

At the church as a fountain of healing waters. As sceptical Americans, we automatically question that this fountain actually has healing waters. When asked, our pastor was told "of course the waters heal!" What faith. There was no doubt that the children who entered the fountain with aids would come out completely healed!

The most profound was a Jewish Doctor who works in Ethiopia with children who have severe physical abnormalities and has actually adopted 8 children so they can be on his health insurance. When our pastor asked him if he ever questions God amidst seeing all the suffering amongst these children the answer was "Why would I question God? He is Sovereign". But of course!

Oh ye of little faith! We are soo completely spoiled and forget how thankful we really should be!! I absolutely love the Christmas Carol "I heard the Bells on Christmas Day" with words by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. A recent blog posting entitled "The Bells of Hope"convicted me even more!

"God is not dead nor doth He sleep"- He IS Sovereign! Why would we ever question Him??

Strength Statements

In looking at my strengths and then looking at what I truly value- I'm beginning to understand why my executive coach is having me go through this exercise. I have begun to look at activities closer. Why do I like this activity but loath this one? For a period of two week, my coach had me write down activities that I loved and those that I loathed. Then we took a look at these activities and matched them up to my values and strengths. Very interesting how they align! This exercise takes being honest about feelings- something I really don't getting into. But it was very valuable. From this my coach had me write strength statements. I have never ever done this before. What a novel idea! Look at what I love and what I loathe and then know what activities strengthen me so that I am invigorated, fulfilled and am sustained! So far this is what I've got- it's still a work in progress.

I am strong when:

I have an opportunity to interact/socialize with a lot of people in person not on the phone! (Is this Woo or what!!) It does not matter if I know the people personally or if they are strangers.

I have the outside environment around me in order and free of clutter.

I have space and margin in my life and not be crazy busy rushing here and there loosing my head.

I have time to be still. This doesn't have to planned quiet time but just the opportunity to read or just sit and be quiet.

I can laugh several times in a day.

I can use my competence or knowledge to help solve logistical problems.

I have an opportunity to spend unplanned and unstressed time with my kids. For example if they want to suddenly play a game or sing Christmas carols, I can and not feel guilty about chores waiting to be done.

I am weak when:

I don't have the time to think through a interpersonal conflict situation before responding.

I feel forced to do something that is is an area where I'm not competent and feel inadequate.

I am around people who to not want to grow and learn (unmotivated).

It will be interesting to see if these statements stay true for the next year and if they help me in my personal and professional life put myself in more areas of strength!

Rainy Day Thoughts

Sad. Very sad today. Why? Is it because it has rained non-stop for four days? Is it because the kids and Paul are at home without me? Is it because Christmas is this week and we don't get to see all my family in Washington? Not sure but feeling is truly just very sad.

It's o.k. to feel sad. Don't allow myself to be sad very often but it is an o.k. emotion! I'm learning that I need to embrace my emotions and be real with myself. Urghh. O.k. had my little sadness party. Now I need to be happy. Come on sunshine!

Loved this post on Her.meneutics Blog. Lynn Hybels shares about the true meaning of Christmas. Maybe that is why I'm sad. I just need to slow down long enough to nuture my internal peace. If I truly have peace in my soul- I won't feel sad. I will be overwhelemed with love for my family. I need to take time for me. No, that isn't being selfish. It is time to nurture my soul.